Be Happy Now!

I’m a hopeless romantic; I love walks on the beach, the beauty of a sunset, and the adventures of life. But as a young man I wan inconsolably heartbroken whenever a girl broke up with me (which was often). I would be so depressed and cry and just be in a terrible state of suffering. I was a tragic poet writing about the pains and torment of love.

But then one day after one of my breakups I had an epiphany, an enlightenment, an awakening. I realized that I would always have problems in my life no matter what. There’s no escaping problems and obstacles in life—they are an inherent part of life.

So I realized if I was always going to have problems I might as well enjoy them. I might as well welcome obstacles into my life. I challenged life to give me more problems. “Life,” I said, “give me more!” “Life, give me more!”

That became my motto, my rallying cry whenever I was feeling beaten up by life and problems. “Life, give me more!” I would sometimes scream in anger and tears. I knew that I could handle anything that life threw my way; any problem, any obstacle, any heartache.

Not only could I handle any problem, but I could do it with happiness and confidence. Isn’t that what life is all about, being happy? Who wants to go through life miserable and unhappy? Apparently lots of us because that’s how we live our lives!

We say that we’ll be happy when we get that perfect job, or when we meet Mr. or Ms. Right, or when we have X amount of dollars—It’s always something in the future that will make us happy, it’s not about being happy right now. Why not be happy now?

Being happy now made sense to me. I call it living a coherent life. Coherent means to make sense of be logical. Isn’t it logical to be happy now, in the present? The present is all that we have—the past is gone and the future never arrives, it’s always in the future. But we have right now and right now we can be happy if we choose to be.

“No, I can’t be happy now because I have problems. My wife and kids hate me, my job is a dead end, and I can’t afford a vacation.” We have learned a different set of logic rules—if something bad happens you have to be unhappy. If you have problems you have to be depressed. You can’t be happy if you have problems—what will people think?! They’ll think you’re crazy!!

But it’s your life and your choice to be happy, sad, or whatever. I choose to be happy whenever I can and I try to help others to learn how to do the same. I want everybody to be able to face problems and obstacles head on and say, “Life, give me more!” I want people to be happy every day of their lives. I want you to be happy now!

Doesn’t that make sense?

The Search for Meaning

“The uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love.” Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning.

It is strange and ironic that I have not encountered Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning until this (late) period in my life since it is the search for meaning I have struggled with so mightily throughout my life.

I struggled in high school because I could not see the meaning in the algebra, English, history, biology, and assorted other classes that I was forced to take. At that time I worked in a nursing home and saw the discarded old whose prime and usefulness had seemed to have passed. I could not see the meaning in their lives as they wound down often in dementia, loneliness, and despair.

Also at this same time I saw my father’s despair as he came home each day from work tired and worn, a little bit more taken out of him, a little less life to give. What meaning was there for his life? Was it my fate to live the same meaningless life? (A few years later he seemed to find relief in the cancer that would mercifully end his life.)

After graduating from high school I began an adventure to find such meaning in my life. I hitchhiked and traveled to far off places such as Hawaii and Mexico in search of meaning. Later in work and college I searched for a meaning for my life—at times finding such meaning and at other times losing it.

My inability to firmly grasp and retain the meaning of my life was dependent on my desires for love and money, on my insecurities and psychosis, and on a world that does not reward the nebulous and intangible. “Make a living” not “Make meaning” is the motto of our society.

Frankl writes about two men who had given up on life in the Nazi concentration camp and talked of committing suicide. Both men gave the typical argument that they had nothing left to expect from life. But Frankl turned the question of expectation on its head and asking the men what life expected from them. It turned out that each man had something that life expected of them—one had a daughter living in the United States who was waiting for him and the other man begun a series of books that needed to be finished.

“His work could not be done by anyone else, any more than another person could ever take the place of the father in his child’s affections.”

Each of us has a unique and singular mission, a meaning that life expects of us. Life has presented you with a set of circumstances, obstacles, and experiences that make you the unique person that you are. Even closely knit twins have unique experiences which distinguish them from each other. Why did life give you the life it gave you? What is life expecting from you?

My own life has given me the unique perspective that I call “The Coherent Life” consisting of the six values of Confidence, Happiness, Love, Peace, Passion, and Abundance. My purpose, the meaning that life expects of me is to share this philosophy with you. My hope is that you will find meaning in your life through my writings. 

Adding To your Spiritual Bank

Right now you might be hurting financially. You may be fighting with your spouse about money problems, how you can’t afford “unnecessary” things. Maybe you hope and pray to hit it rich somehow in some way—just like those recent Powerball winners.

When we think of the word “rich” we tend to think of money. With terms like “millionaire” and “billionaire” we automatically think that they have a million or billion dollars even though they are not called “milliondollarsaire” or “billiondollarsaire.”

Even with the term “well off” we think of people who have lots of money.  But we can also be spiritually well off. By practicing meditation, mindfulness, and concentrating on the Six Value Suns of the Coherent Life, we can add to our spiritual bank account. Each act of enlightenment is a deposit into our spiritual bank account.

We withdraw from this spiritual bank account when we encounter stress that brings us down or when we don’t maintain our spiritual practices. We can’t just make a deposit into our spiritual account and expect it to be there at some far off future date. Every day we are making withdrawals as we deal with life’s stresses, other people, and problems that arise. Life is like inflation, it devalues our spiritual wealth.

The only way to become spiritually rich is to be proactive and practice those things that will bring you closer to the God that you are a part of. The Six Values of the Coherent Life: Confidence, Happiness, Love, Peace, Passion, and Abundance are the cornerstones of a spiritually wealthy life. Practice using the Value Suns to add these values to your life so that you can live a rich life.

An Easy Fix for Stress

Has this ever happened to you? You’re in your home at night and a fuse blows so you go to get the flashlight but the battery is dead and you don’t have any extra batteries in the house.

Or maybe your TV remote is broken and the number 2 doesn’t work so you have to press 30 and then go back a few channels to get to channel 27. Or maybe it’s channel 227 you want to watch then you have to go to channel 199 and go forward lots of channels.

Maybe you have a gate latch that’s doesn’t quite work right so you have to fiddle with it every time you close it to make sure it’s securely locked or else the dog will get out (again).

Don’t you have enough stress in your life what with work, traffic, kids, relationships, etc., etc.? Get rid of those easily fixed little stresses so that you can find that much more peace in your life. Buy extra batteries to have on hand. Buy a new remote for the TV. Fix that gate latch once and for all.

By taking care of these little stresses you won’t be thinking “there’s another thing wrong with my life.” Take care of the small things so that you can escape the big stresses in your life instead of adding to them. These are easy fixes to finding more peace in your stressful life.

Make No Excuse

It’s been a few months since I last blogged. There are many reasons (and excuses) but the important thing is that I’m back writing.

Twenty years ago I was in Amway – I know, run away! Say what you will about Amway and MLM (Multi-level marketing) but my upline leadership instilled in me some very valuable lessons and habits. One was not to make excuses.  Whenever someone would complain that they didn’t have time, or were tired, or their favorite TV show was on, or whatever the excuse, one of my leaders, Scott Harimoto, would say, “Any excuse will do.” That means no matter what your excuse is for not doing something, no matter how good the excuse is, it’s still an excuse.

Sometimes we disguise our excuses by calling them “reasons.” You might say that reasons and excuses aren’t the same because reasons are, well, more reasonable. We think of excuses as cop-outs, as explanations for why we didn’t feel like or were too lazy to do. But reasons, well reasons are GOOD excuses. We wanted to do that something, but something, or someone, or life in general got in the way. We had a car accident, we had to work late, the alarm clock didn’t go off. Reasons, we believe, are things that are out of our control.

But those familiar with my blog and the Coherent Life know that I believe that nothing is out of our control. My concept of “God” is the all-encompassing energy and power that is inherent in all things, living and insentient. God is not a separate entity from ourselves but rather we are an integral part of God. God is not some old man controlling our lives, but we are God, actively controlling our own destinies.

So stop making excuses (or even good reasons). Know that you are the one in control. If things are going the way that you want, then look within yourself for the reasons why. Is there something inside yourself that you need to change? Maybe God, that bigger entity that we are a tiny part of, is telling us that what we want isn’t what we need.

How to Practice Happiness

Growing up I went to Parochial (Catholic) schools. I remember that in the first grade I took a lesson about Jesus’ concept of brotherly love to heart. After school I raced home and told my best friend Michael Chavez how we needed to love everyone, even the neighborhood bully, even if we didn’t like him.

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.” Mahatma Gandhi.

But as I grew older I began to see they hypocrisy and prejudice of my religious leaders. Later, as I reached adolescence, the concept of an old white guy in heaven controlling everything no longer made sense to me, it wasn’t logical. You might say that point in my life was the birthplace of The Coherent Life, of discovering a life that was logical and rational.

I began to learn about other great spiritual leaders such as Mohandas Gandhi. I first learned about Gandhi from the movie Nine Hours to Rama, a fictional account of his assassination. At the end of the movie after Gandhi is shot he tells his assassin “I forgive you my brother.” Wow—it blew me away!

Later in life I became a Buddhist and learned to respect everyone and everything since all contains the Buddha nature. It was then that I congealed my concept of The Law of Divinity—everything is One; One is the greatest power.

Learn to see yourself as all powerful, as being in control of your life. Don’t blame others, circumstances, or resign yourself to “It’s God’s will.” Right now, right where you are you can change your life and start living a Coherent Life—just decide to be happy. Simple as that, make a decision to be happy.

Now keeping that decision to be happy won’t always be easy. Life throws many problems and obstacles our way. Just keep reminding yourself that your one and only goal in life is to be happy. A happy state of mind is like a muscle, it needs to be exercised to make it strong.

Here are some helpful tips to help you achieve your goal of being happy:

• Write down your goal of being happy and place it somewhere you can see it every day.
• Everyday take a few moments to clear your mind of the noise and clutter; meditate or practice mindfulness.
• Smile and laugh often. Practice belly laughs—from your stomach rapidly expel a series of “Ha-ha-ha.”
• See the world around you as a happy place; while sitting down tell yourself you are in a happy chair in a happy room in a happy house.

Do these exercises daily to build up your muscle of a happy state of mind.

How To Help Your Kids Quiet Their Minds

As adults we are often busy multi-tasking, doing many things at one time. We talk on the phone while checking our emails and watching TV. While making dinner we update our status on Facebook and help the kids with their homework. Our attention is pulled in every direction but we give our full attention to nothing.

“Multi-tasking allows us to screw up two things at once.” Author unknown.

Not only do we harm ourselves with the stress of trying to do too much at once, our kids mimic our behavior. Kids text their friends while doing their homework and watching TV. They are shuttled from school to soccer games to the fast food drive thru. In addition to all that stress, with recent mass shootings and gun violence, kids have to be concerned about their safety. There’s no longer such a thing as a “carefree childhood.”

That’s why it’s important for us to help our children find some quiet and peace in their busy lives. Meditation and mindfulness have been found to help improve memory, attention spans, and decision making while lessening mood disorders and depression. Even simple breath-awareness exercises have been found to improve kids’ social skills, increase their sense of calmness, and lead to better sleep.

Here are some simple techniques to help your kids find mindfulness throughout their day:

•  There are different things your children can focus their attention on.
• They can focus on their breathing, emotions, thoughts, or body sensations.
•  Your children can use their five senses to focus on everyday objects.
• A piece of food such as popcorn or raisin incorporates the sense of smell.
•  Find something that keeps their interest such as a toy, picture, or something in nature.
• Have your children close their eyes and concentrate on their breathing, in and out.
• They can even count their breaths quietly.

Even simple activities like going for a hike or walk, leaving technology behind, can help brings some peace and quiet to you and your children’s lives.  Most of all, set the example, focus your attention to one task at a time, practice mindfulness and meditation, and breathe.

What Activities Bring Happiness?

There are lots of things that we do that bring us pleasure: Sex, eating, watching TV, shopping, drinking, etc. But pleasure is fleeting; when the activity ends so does the pleasure.

“Spending our time doing what we please may bring momentary pleasure, but it will not bring us true and lasting joy. We cannot become great artists or great actors of life-we cannot become great human beings. Literature, music and drama are all to be found in our activities for faith-in our prayers, our challenges to develop ourselves through (religious) activities and our efforts to educate others. All value is encompassed in these activities. This is the profound realm of Buddhism.” Daisaku Ikeda, President, SGI.

On the other hand if we engage in noble activities such as helping others, pursuing the humanities, or creating a greater good then we are filled with an inextinguishable happiness. True happiness comes when we better ourselves or the lives of others. There is satisfaction in the things that make us and others happy.

How Do You Keep Your Life In Balance?

Work, school, family, relationships, kids’ soccer, dance class, gym workouts, traffic jams, taxes, church, etc., etc. –how to you find balance with so much on your plate?

“The conservation of energy depends upon getting your personality speed synchronized with the rate of God’s movement. God is in you. If you are going at one rate and God at another, you are tearing yourself apart.” Norman Vincent Peale.

Life often pulls us in many directions. We have responsibilities that need to be fulfilled. We have others to care for, who depend on us. We plan a vacation but then an emergency arises and we have to use our vacation fund to take care of the emergency.

With so many outside forces it’s hard to concentrate on what’s really important in our lives: Our own happiness and peace of mind. We lose track of what truly makes us happy. We don’t set aside time to find a few moments of peace inside ourselves. Instead we just concentrate on reducing stress a little—if we buy the kids the video game they want then maybe they’ll behave for a while; if we allow our spouse to buy that big screen TV or new dress then maybe they’ll show us more affection and love; if we work late maybe our boss will give us a raise.

True happiness doesn’t come from the outside, it’s generated from within. People can lose everything in a fire but still radiate happiness from within. Happiness is the state of being content, satisfied, and at ease. When truly happy you don’t suffer from want; though material goods can bring you momentary pleasure they can’t really make you truly happy.

To find balance in your life remember the Rule of Divinity: Everything is One and One is the greatest power. As Norman Vincent Peale says above, synchronize with this power of the One.

Each day take a few quiet moments to find happiness and peace inside yourself. By doing so you will find balance and learn what’s really important in life.

Is It Spring Yet?

Is it Spring yet? That might be a question asked by people still suffering cold weather. I’m lucky because I live in Hawaii where it’s sunny and warm most of the time. That’s not to say that we don’t have our share of inclement weather—a few years ago it rained for 41 days straight!

“The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco.” Mark Twain.

We do get the occasional hurricane in Hawaii—the last one was over 20 years ago. And we do get snow in Hawaii! On the slopes of the Mauna Kea Volcano which stands at over 13,000 feet.  Just a couple years ago all 50 of the United States had snow.

While the weather in Hawaii might seem unseasonably warm to those visitors who come from snow covered vistas, you will see many locals wearing jackets and sweatshirts with their shorts and flip flops. I joke with my friends in cold weather places that it’s so cold in Hawaii that I had to turn down the air conditioning; that it’s so cold that I had to close the windows part way; that it’s so cold that I had to wear long pants.

Everything is relative, though. I’ve been to places where it was below freezing and people were wearing nothing but t-shirts. While anything under 72⁰ F is cold for me!

And so it is with life. As the old saying goes, everything looks greener on the other side of the fence. If you have an office job, an outside job looks for appealing. If you’re married, single people seem to have it better. If you live in Hawaii, you miss the snow. Okay, maybe the last one doesn’t apply.

There are those who are perpetually dissatisfied, no matter what side of the fence they’re on. The trick is to find happiness and enthusiasm where you are right now no matter what. Happiness and enthusiasm are emotions generated from within, independent of outside forces.

If you want to be happy and have passion for your life then follow this exercise called the Value Suns, based on the Six Values of a Coherent Life.

1. Sit in a comfortable, quiet place.
2. Place one hand in your lap, palm up.
3. While looking at the palm of your hand imagine a small sun, a ball of fire.
4.  You are in control of this sun; you can change its size and shape, making it bigger, smaller, longer, or higher.
5. As you look at this little sun feel the emotion of the value you wish to create in your life.
6. Concentrate of the feeling for a few moments.

Each sun has a different color for each of the Six Values:

• Internal Assurance (confidence) = White
•  Eternal Ecstasy (happiness) = Orange
• Indissoluble Love = Yellow
• Armored Tranquility (peace) = Green
• Fervid Enthusiasm = Red
•  Profound Abundance = Sky Blue

By practicing viewing these suns and experiencing the associated emotions, you will no longer be dependent on outside forces to live the Six Values.

How Do You Enjoy Life?

What would you do if you had no restrictions, no responsibilities, no limits? If you had all the money in the world and all the time, what would you be doing right now? By answering these questions you can find what you’re passionate about.

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” Oprah Winfrey.

The problem is that we don’t have all the time and money in the world. We have jobs, family, and other obligations. We might be struggling financially so that finding the money to do something extra is out of the question.

But there are ways that we can follow our passions to a lesser degree. For example, if your passion is to travel then travel to places within your own community that you haven’t been before; meet new people, try new restaurants, shop at new stores. Or you can read about the places you want to travel to, watch videos about those places, and daydream of being there.

No, it’s not the same as travelling there, but it engages the passion part of your brain. Numerous scientific studies have found that imagining doing something has the same effect as actually doing that thing. Imagining, daydreaming, and pretending help us to engage the passion part of our brain and by doing so we increase our passion for other parts of our lives.

By having passion for other parts of our lives, say for a job that we really don’t want to be at, we gain a new lease on life. Our passion infiltrates ourselves, affecting every fiber of our being. We become excited about all areas of our lives. Just like when we were kids, once again we have passion for living!

So even though you can’t be doing anything you want any time you want, at least pursue your passion to the degree that you can. Imagine and daydream. Let the passion inside you manifest itself in other areas of your life. Then once again you will be enjoying life!

What’s The True Meaning of Easter and Passover?

It’s no coincidence that Easter, Passover, and Spring all happen at the same time of year; all involve re-birth. The word “Easter” is believed to be derived from the name of the Anglo-Saxon goddess of the dawn (i.e., Spring), Eostre. Easter celebrates the re-birth of Jesus. Passover celebrates the Jews liberation from Egypt and their re-birth as a free people. And of course Spring is the re-birth of nature.

“The joyful news that He is risen does not change the contemporary world. Still before us lie work, discipline, sacrifice. But the fact of Easter gives us the spiritual power to do the work, accept the discipline, and make the sacrifice.” - Henry Knox Sherrill, Episcopal clergyman.

As humans we are in a constant state of physical re-birth. The cells in our bodies are constantly dividing, regenerating, and dying. The cells lining the stomach, because they’re exposed to acid, replace themselves about every five days. Cells in the epidermis last about a week. Red blood cells live for about four months in the body, while other cells can take up to seven years to regenerate—so we can say that we are completely “reborn” every seven years!

New Year’s is the traditional time when we make resolutions, or new determinations to better ourselves; to make over our lives, to be reborn as a better person. Many of us do this on a regular basis by setting goals. It is human nature to try and better ourselves.

Many of us are reborn spiritually on a daily basis by practicing meditation or mindfulness. The simple act of sitting still and peacefully allows our spirits to regenerate and recharge.

No matter what this time of year means to you or how you observe it, take time to enjoy the new sprouting buds of Spring flowers. “Stop and smell the roses,” as the old saying goes. Re-energize your mind, body, and spirit by sitting peacefully, taking a warm bath, or going for a walk in nature. Make new determinations and set new goals—never cease becoming a better you!

What is the purpose of life?

At no other time in history have we had the luxury of so much leisure time as we have today. In primitive times most of all our waking hours was devoted to survival: Foraging for food and water, hunting, and battling the elements. Today we have lots of free time which gives us many options: We can socialize with friends and family, we participate in sports, we can watch TV, we can go to the movies, we can go shopping—the possibilities are endless.

This plethora of free time has also allowed us to contemplate life and work on bettering ourselves and the world around us.

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” Og Mandino.

At this point in history we now have the time and money to pursue the greater questions of purpose. We can ask the big questions of how to better ourselves, how to better our world, how to create peace and end war, how to cure cancer and disease—there are so many good things that we can now concentrate on.

Well, one good thing you’re doing right now with your free time (or maybe you’re doing this at work) is improving your mind and life by reading this blog. What else do you plan on doing? What is your purpose in life? Do you need a purpose or are you fine without one?

As we open our minds and pursue the bigger questions of life we are evolving not just our own selves, but the rest of humanity to come. Future humankind will be smarter, wiser, and more mindful because of the steps we take today to better ourselves, our world, and our souls.

Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard?

Sometimes it seems as if life is so hard and that there is no end in sight to these hard times. Just as we are overcoming one struggle, another hardship befalls us.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

As humans we have very short memories and suffer from “cognitive bias,” that is we perceive things in the very narrow timeframe of the most recent events. Though we may be experiencing difficulties in the present, we are unable to frame these hard times in the larger picture of our lives. Even though the majority of our lives have been good, recent setbacks have colored our perceptions to see life as “hard.”

But past victories and good times are of little consequence when we are struggling with no end in sight.

“The struggle we go through to have our prayers answered makes us stronger. If we were to immediately get everything we prayed for, we would become spoiled and decadent. We would lead indolent lives, devoid of any hard work or struggle. As a result, we would become shallow human beings. What, then, would be the point of faith?” Daisaku Ikeda, President of the Soka Gakkai International.

We need faith, hope, and optimism to help us through these hard times. Look at your past victories and you will know that you will overcome your current difficulties, too. Look at all of human history and you will see examples of those who have overcome much more dire circumstances; you have the same ability.

And whatever your troubles, you can find a moment to sit and be mindful, to empty your mind of worries and anxieties. Even a few seconds of peace of mind will give you new perspective and reinvigorate you to deal with the problems at hand.

Never give up because life offers so many rewards: Happy times with friends and family; the enjoyment of a hike through the woods, a spectacular sunrise, the tranquility of the still waters of a lake; the pride of accomplishment, of overcoming difficulties. Hardships are a part of life, but they are not life itself.

How to Deal with the Loss of a Loved One

How can we deal with loss?

Bad things happen in life. We get laid off from our jobs, our cars are wrecked in accidents, and we lose loved ones. How we deal with loss is a reflection of how we live our lives.

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” Kahlil Gibran.

While a job or car can be replaced in time, maybe with great difficulty, some things and people can never be replaced. One of kind items, photos, and sentimental items that are loss can cause us great grief; they can never be replaced and we miss them in our lives.

The loss of a loved one, especially suddenly and before their time, can bring pervasive sorrow to our lives and completely change us. Losing a loved one can seem like the end of the world to us. How can we continue without them? How can we overcome our sorrow and lead happy lives again?

One way is to cherish the memory of the lost loved one. Remember the good and special times you shared with that person. Smile and be happy for the time you were able to share while they were in your life. In this way you are building a living, positive memorial to that loved one.

Another way is to do what that person would want you to do. If that person was still alive and with you, what would they tell you do to do if you had lost someone else you loved? Wouldn’t they tell you to get on with your life, to somehow find happiness again? Don’t you think that they would want you to be happy, leading a fulfilling life now?

Do not lose your life when you lose another. Live the happy life that they would want you to live. Be the person that they would want you to be. That is the best way to cherish their memory.

What Makes Life Worthwhile?

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote “What is important in life is life, and not the result of life.” In other words, what’s important is living your life to the fullest, passionately and enthusiastically. This corresponds to the fifth of the Six Values of The Coherent Life is Fervid Enthusiasm.

The word “fervid” comes from Latin and means “to glow.” Those familiar with The Coherent Life know the daily practice of attracting the Six Values into your life through concentrating on imaginary colored balls of fire that represent the Six Values. These balls of fire are like little suns; they glow.

So should your life glow with passion. Think about your past and what you will remember most are the things you've done: Going on vacation, spending time with friends and family, enjoying your favorite hobbies. It is the things that we do, not the things we buy, that give us pleasure and lasting memories.

Live a life that produces lasting memories. Go out into the world and explore, meet new people, have new experiences. It is this passion that makes life worthwhile.

Mindfulness for the Impatient

How can we achieve mindfulness in an impatient world? We live in a world of instant gratification. We can get our food fast at a drive thru. We can watch movies on demand before they come out on DVD for sale. When I was a kid you had to wait until six o’clock to watch the evening news, now you can get news 24/7.

“Impatience turns an ague into a fever, a fever to the plague, fear into despair, anger into rage, loss into madness, and sorrow to amazement.” Jeremy Taylor, author.

I am always amazed by drivers who recklessly try to cut in a car or two ahead as if a gain of a couple car lengths will make all the difference in getting them quicker to their destination. I particularly find it funny during the morning work commute; do they love their jobs that much that they can’t wait to get to work?!

“There is no need for you to be impatient. If you can achieve something very easily right from the start, you will find no sense of fulfillment or joy. It is in making tenacious, all-out efforts for construction that profound happiness lies.” Daisaku Ikeda, President, Soka Gakkai International.

One of the main symptoms of such an impatient, hectic world is anxiety. We are anxious and nervous when we don’t get it now. Technology like faxes and email were supposed to give us more free time but instead have caused us to work faster and harder. In the past when snail mail was the only way to send documents or letters, people would have to patiently wait. But now we impatiently ask why it’s not here yet.

It is ironic then that the way to overcome our impatient anxiety is by being patiently mindful. We need to take time to sit and be quiet. We need to calm our galloping minds; stop thinking about what we need to do next and listen to the present.

Here are some simple tips for achieving mindfulness for the impatient:

• In this exercise there’s no need to sit quietly with your eyes closed; it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing.
• Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself; inhale and hold for three seconds, exhale and hold for three seconds; repeat a few times.
• Stop thinking and start observing; become aware of your surroundings; look, see, hear, smell; observe without judging.
• If you are not able to keep your mind from racing thoughts of the past or future, then either slowly count or repeat the mantra, “Right here, right now.”
• Your goal here is to achieve mindfulness for only 10 to fifteen seconds.
• Do this often throughout the day; the more you do it, the easier it will become.

This is a simple exercise to achieve a few seconds of mindfulness throughout your day. Having just an instant of peace in your life will make a marked difference.

How to Attract Profound Abundance

How can you attract abundance into your life? It often seems like no matter how hard we work and struggle, but we just can’t seem to get ahead. All we want is to buy a little comfort to make the world more bearable: A decent car, a nice place to live, a flat screen TV, an occasional night out on the town. But often in our pursuit of some creature comforts, we find ourselves getting deeper into debt.

Where does it end? When will we get ahead? How about some freedom from the drudgery of work so that you can pursue truly meaningful work or others activities that are important to you?

The Coherent Life value of Profound Abundance is the state of having ample resources to allow you to follow your bliss, to do those things that you want to do. In concordance with the other five Coherent Life values, Profound Abundance allows you to live a happy, joy-filled life.

All of the Six Values of The Coherent Life are attracted into your life in the same way. All of the values are energy and energy is attracted to energy of the same type; that is, like attracts like. This is the Law of Attraction. The Buddha said, “What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.”

Thoughts are a type of energy. What we think about all day is what is attracted into our lives. If you want to attract abundance into your life, then think like a person who has abundant resources; think like a rich person. Don’t think about the rich person you want to become, but rather think about the rich person that you are.

Whether or not you realize it, you do have some riches in your life. You have a place to live, although it may not be the home of your dreams. You have clothes to wear, shoes on your feet, food to eat, a computer to use. Maybe none of these fit your ideal, but view that as only temporary until you decide to upgrade them; you are a rich person who has not yet decided to buy the things you dream of.

To focus your thoughts and energy on abundance, do the following exercise at least once a day:

• Sit in a quiet, relaxing place.
• Place a hand on your lap with the palm facing up.
• Look at your palm and imagine that there is a ball of light, like a little sun.
• Imagine that the ball of light is light blue in color, the same color as the sky.*
•  As you look at this ball of light, recall a time when you felt rich, a time when you felt that you had abundance.
• Concentrate on that feeling, that emotion of abundance.
• While concentrating on this feeling, play with the ball of light; change its size and shape.
• Do this exercise for a least two to three minutes at least once a day.

The exercise is simple but it will immediately affect your life.

*Note: The reason that the ball of light is sky blue is twofold: One is that sky is the most abundant thing that we can see; two, whenever you see the sky you will be reminded of that feeling of abundance.

How Do You Stay Positive in a Negative World?

How do you keep a positive outlook in a negative world? Watch the nightly news and you will see all the bad that’s happening in the world. “The news media are, for the most part, the bringers of bad news... and it's not entirely the media's fault, bad news gets higher ratings and sells more papers than good news.” Peter McWilliams, writer.

But even if we deprive ourselves of the media, we are constantly surrounded by people eager to share their woes, complaints, and negative comments. How can we protect ourselves from these negative people? We can tell them to “Stop!”

And how do we protect ourselves from negative thoughts? The same way; we tell ourselves to “Stop!” The fact is that there is no difference in the number of negative thoughts that an optimist or a pessimist have throughout the day. The difference lies in the optimist’s ability to stop the negative thoughts from festering in our minds. Optimists are able to nip negative thoughts in the bud.

Just as we tell ourselves to stop thinking negative thoughts, we can tell others to “Stop!” Simply hold up your hand and tell the person “Stop!” How do we tell others to stop their negative talk without sounding rude or mean? You can use humor or be helpful. For example, “Stop! I’ve had my daily limit of negativity for the day,” or “Stop! Let me teach you something I learned about the difference between optimists and pessimists . . . .”

Comedian Bob Newhart did a sketch about a psychologist who used just such a technique. Watch it here.

But isn’t it cathartic and healthy to “vent”? That was Sigmund Freud’s hypothesis some one hundred years ago, but psychologist today find the opposite to be true. Venting or “letting off steam” only pollutes your mind and those of the people around you. It’s best to let those negative feelings go and find positive thoughts to replace them. Think about the good things that are happening in your life. Daydream about the fulfillment of your goals or your dreams coming true.

In conclusion, to keep a positive outlook:

• Nip your negative thoughts in the bud.
• When others talk negatively, tell them to “Stop!”
• Find something positive to think about like what’s good in your life or the future attainment of a goal.

How to Achieve Eternal Happiness and Joy

There are six steps to achieving eternal happiness and joy; thus ending pain and suffering.

First you must have unshakable confidence that you can handle any problem that comes your way. You must also have the confidence that you have the strength and ability to make your desires come true.

Second, decide to be happy right now where you are. Don’t wait for some future event like winning the lottery or falling in love. Happiness is a decision. You can be happy no matter what, no matter where.

Third, love yourself. Be kind to yourself and reward yourself for being the best you that you can be. Don’t look outside yourself for love. Others will love you after you learn to love yourself.

Fourth, develop an impenetrable shield of peace around yourself. No matter what’s happening in the world around you, remain calm and at peace. No one can irritate or bug you; only you can let others get to you.

Fifth, have passion for life and everything that life throws at you, good or bad. Rush out to meet life; don’t wait for it to come to you. Your newfound confidence in step one will enable you to seek out life’s adventures.

Sixth, attract prosperity into your life. With a solid base of happiness and self-love in your life you will not want the trappings associated with trying to impress others like having an over-sized TV or gas-guzzling SUV. But you will be able to enjoy a comfortable life that enables you to do the things that you find important.

Achieving these six steps is done by living the Six Values of The Coherent Life:

1.    Internal Assurance

2.    Eternal Ecstasy

3.    Indissoluble Love

4.    Armored Tranquility

5.    Fervid Enthusiasm

6.    Profound Abundance

How Do I Help Myself by Helping Others?

It is human nature to want the best for yourself. You want to be happy. You want peace of mind. You want to live a comfortable life.

How do we get these things by helping others? This is the paradox of The Rule of Divinity. The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and one is the greatest power. 

Since everything (and everyone) is one, what you do for others you do for yourself. By helping others become happy, loved, and at peace, you are contributing to the greater you, the one great power, God.

The paradox works both ways: By helping yourself, you help others; by helping others, you help yourself. 

So continue to help others while helping yourself. Working on the two together will help yourself and the world around you to become better.

How Can We Know God?

Scientists say that we use between 1% and 10% of our brain capacity. The fact that they

don't know how much of our brains that we use is proof of how little we actually use.

With so with so little brain power, how can we really know God? The Bible says that God created man in His own image. But the truth is that man created God in his own image: A fatherly figure with free will.

But for us to truly understand God is like asking a two-dimensional stick figure drawing to understand our three-dimensional world. God exists in another dimensional that we cannot fathom.

But we do know certain facts: God has always existed and was at one time the only thing that existed. If at one time God was all that existed then anything created by God was created of God; meaning nothing can be created from nothing, it has to be created from something and that something is God.

Therefore everything that was created is a part of God. We are part of God. This is the Rule of Divinity—everything is one; we are one with God. This is analogous to us being a drop of water and God being the ocean—the two are inseparable.

God is not a separate entity from us, but rather we are a part of God. The second part of the Rule of Divinity states that one is the greatest power. Together we are one with God and thus we are part of the greatest power.

Do not wish on the willy-nilly desires of some outer being to answer your prayers. God and the power of God are inside you. When your prayers are not answered it is because we are not in tuned to this greater power. But acknowledging that you have this great power will give you great confidence and strength.

How to Help Your Greater Self

The Coherent Life is not about living a self-centered existence.

The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and that one is the greatest power. That means you are one with all others. When you think only of yourself, you are begrudging the greater you and hurting yourself in the long run.

The German writer Friedrich von Schiller writes, "The brave man thinks upon himself the last." 

If you want to have an enlightened life mindful of the great power that resides inside you, then must recognize and acknowledge that other people are also a part of this power. As the old saying goes, "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face." What this means is don't be self-destructive by over-reacting to a problem.

When we express anger, contempt, or hatred towards others, we are hurting ourselves as well. On the surface we only hurt ourselves by having these negative emotions dwell within us; oftentimes these emotions seethe inside us and those who they're directed at never know of our emotions towards them so they are not hurt by them. On a larger scale though, these negative emotions hurt our bigger self which includes others.

To live a Coherent Life, think of others. By being good to others, helping them, and being kind to them is helping yourself as well. When you are mindful and in-tune to this fact, you, too will be living a happy, peaceful life.

How to Have Unstoppable Happiness

You can end your sadness, misery, pain, and suffering. You can lead a life full of happiness and joy.

The first step is to realize that have the inherent power to be happy no matter what the circumstances or situation. No matter what your financial situation, no matter your relationship status, no matter if the world is falling apart around you. You can rise above everything to be happy every moment of every day.

Next stop looking for happiness outside yourself. Happiness is not found in outside pleasures such as sex, material goods, money, drugs, alcohol, or food. Such external pleasure is dependent and fleeting. The only place that you’ll find happiness is within you. True happiness is internal and independent.

To generate happiness from within first remember a time when you were happy. Relive that feeling of happiness, focus on it for at least two minutes. Generating this feeling of happiness every day will build and strengthen your happiness muscle. Focus on the feeling of happiness generated from within two times a day.

Happiness is important for living a Coherent Life. As often as possible, get around others living the Coherent Life. Shy away from negative, unhappy friends and family unless it is to share the Coherent Life with them and teach them how to achieve happiness in their own lives.

Remember, happiness is like a muscle and it needs to be exercised every day. The more you exercise it, the stronger your happiness will be.

How to Have Unstoppable Confidence

How can I be so confident that I know that I can handle anything that comes my way? How can I be so self-assured that I know that I can effectively deal with any problem, conflict, or obstacle?

The answer is Internalized Assurance, one of six values of The Coherent Life. Along with the other five values, I have overcome pain and suffering. I have totally transformed my life in an instant when I realized that I had the power of “The Rule of Divinity” inside me.

Modern psychology will tell you that there are four attributions of perceive control: Internal, External, Controllable, and Uncontrollable. These four attributes form a matrix with location of control (Internal or External) on the x axis and controllability (Controllable or Uncontrollable) on the y axis. Thus there are four possible perceptions of control: Internal-Controllable, Internal-Uncontrollable, External-Controllable, and External-Uncontrollable. According to this psychological theory, people who perceive control as being External-Uncontrollable feel that they can’t control events in their lives and attribute the cause as luck, other people, karma, etc. On the other hand, people who perceive control as being Internal-Controllable feel that they have complete control of their lives.

But psychological theory doesn’t help us. It is enlightened knowledge that guides us through life and allows us to stop suffering and realize our desires. “The Rule of Divinity” is everything is one and one is the greatest power. You are part of everything thus you have the greatest power. You have the power to end your unhappiness, pain, sickness, and troubles. You have the power to live the life of your heart’s desires.

Once you have internalized this fact, you will be able to mold your life and manipulate the outcomes that you desire in life. No longer will you be a pawn in the game of life, rather you will be the grand master chess champion—unbeatable!

How to Have Indissoluble Love - The Rule of Divinity

Want to have an indestructible love? All of us crave love; it is part of the human condition. We want to be cared for, liked, and made to feel special.

We seek love and approval from others outside us. We try to make ourselves attractive so that others are drawn to us. We try to wow people with our words and clever pick up lines; “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

Maybe your pick up lines work and you are able to make someone fall in love with you. Your love grows stronger but there are fights, as there are in any relationship. Feelings are hurt, maybe enough to make you fall out of love. Then again you are without love in your life.

But what if you could have an indissoluble love, a love that would withstand the sands of time, a love that never let you down?

Such a love is possible through the Rule of Divinity. The Rule of Divinity states that everything is one and that one is the greatest power. This means that you are one with everything and you have the greatest power.

You are GOD—Good, Omniscient, and Divine. You are the greatest love that there is. You don’t need outside valuation. You don’t need someone else to give you love because you have all the love in the world inside you.

How To Judge Yourself

All of us want to feel worthy, that we are valued for who we are. We want to be feel valued and appreciated by our families, our loved ones, our employers, our friends. No one wants to be thought of as worthless or unvalued.

Self-Regard is the Emotional Intelligence skill of respecting and accepting yourself as basically a good person. No matter what others may think or say about you, you know that you’re a good person. You know that you have invaluable strengths and talents. And even though you have your flaws (who doesn’t?!), you accept them as being a part of the unique person that you are.

We often sit in judgment of ourselves as judge and jury. We are often our own worst critics and punish ourselves with harsh verdicts. We tell ourselves that we are “Stupid,” “Clumsy,” or “Fat.” We tell ourselves things that we would never dare tell another person.

This is our self-esteem, or “self-estimate” of our value.

Maybe we have a good rationale for our verdict. We “know” that we’re fat because we don’t look like the models in the glossy magazines. We “know” that we’re stupid because we make mistakes and, as we learned in school, mistakes are bad.

But the truth is our rationale is often faulty. We base our judgments of ourselves on outside morals or messages that are outdated or manipulative. For example, the moral that it’s bad to make mistakes is completely wrong. By making mistakes we learn from experience. Learning by doing is the most potent way to remember how to do something.

The message that we should be runway model skinny is perpetuated by companies that want to sell us designer clothes and diet pills. True, there is a healthy weight that we could attain by eating healthy foods in moderate amounts, but the healthy ideal is hardly portrayed in the media.

What happens when we pass these judgments on ourselves is that we become that verdict. If we tell ourselves that we’re fat, then we become depressed and eat more. When we tell ourselves that we’re stupid, then we become anxious and nervous so that we are less attentive to the task at hand and thus more mistake-prone.  This is called “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.” What we prophesize or predict (“I’m fat and always will be”) comes true.

In Buddhism there is a saying: “There are not two lands, pure or impure in themselves. The difference lies solely in the good or evil of our minds.” Shakespeare said it another way in Hamlet: “for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” In other words, we are not inherently good or bad, fat or stupid—it is our minds that make it so.

Our thinking, our judgment of ourselves is a habit. Maybe this habit was influenced by the habits of our parents or teachers who instilled certain morals in us. Maybe, as mentioned before, our habits were influenced by the media who wants us to feel bad about ourselves so that we’ll buy their products so that we’ll feel good.

To change these habitual judgments of ourselves we must first become aware of our thinking. Our thinking has become so ingrained that we no longer hear what we are telling ourselves. Tune in to yourself; listen carefully to what you are telling yourself. This simple exercise of awareness will help you to change your thinking.

Next you must see how irrational and faulty your thinking is. Use the ABCDE Process (explained here) to defeat your defective judgments and replace them with effective, positive beliefs.

By developing a habit of judging yourself rationally and positively you will build your Self-Regard and self-esteem. You will begin to feel better about yourself and thus you will become a better, more capable person. It all starts with how you think about yourself.

To change your self-esteem of yourself, remember these points:

• Be aware of your judgments of yourself.
• Using the ABCDE Process, explore how these judgments are irrational and faulty.
• Still using the ABCDE Process, find new effective beliefs to have about yourself.
• Continue to catch yourself when you’re in judgment of yourself; each time judge yourself positively and kindly. Eventually these positive judgments will become a habit.

It's Ok to be an Introvert

Being an introvert can be stigmatizing, especially in the United States, home of the loud and talkative (think Donald Trump). Introverts are a minority, making up only 30 percent of the population. But there are many benefits to introversion.

I, myself am an introvert. I prefer being alone with my thoughts. I enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, watching a movie, or hiking in the woods. I also have my extroverted side and enjoy being the center of attention while telling a story or joke.

The fact is that most of us are not permanently fixed on one end or the other of the introverted-extroverted spectrum. Our personality changes with the situation and the particular people that we are with. For the most part I prefer to sit and listen when I’m in a group of people, but when I have an attentive, captive audience I blossom and become a ham.

Introversion is not to be confused with shyness. Shyness is the feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness in social situations. It is a form of anxiety that inhibits behavior and causes people to actively avoid social situations.

I was shy when I was in high school because I lacked the necessary social and interpersonal skills. I sat in the back of the classroom and avoided talking to people. I avoided the cafeteria and instead ate my lunch alone at the desolated football field.

I overcame my shyness by learning the needed skills and by becoming aware that it was ok to be quiet and introverted. I found that I inherently already possessed one of the most important communication skills: Listening.

Being an introvert has many other advantages such being more cautious (extroverts are more likely to be hospitalized as a result of injuries), having more stable and intimate relationships, and being better at coming up with new ideas and mastering new skills.

While introverts make up only 30 percent of the population, they make up 40 percent of high-powered U.S. businesspeople. Abilities such as assessing risks, listening, and attention to details are essential leadership qualities. Famous introverted business leaders include Bill Gates, Charles Schwab, Larry Page, and Warren Buffett.

The introverted qualities of empathy, introspection, and independence also make great moral leaders. Both Mohandas Gandhi and Mother Teresa were introverts, but that didn’t stop them from leading great social causes.

Our introverted or extroverted temperament is mostly inborn. A 1989 study by Harvard developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan found that about 20 percent of four-month-old babies reacted intensely to new experiences such as popping balloons, colorful mobiles, and the smell of alcohol on a cotton swab. These “high-reactive” infants grew up to be introverted adolescents.

It seems that people who are born introverted have a lower threshold for stimulation. Overstimulation such as crowds and popping balloons can cause an introvert to compensate by taking a low profile. On the other hand, extroverts are like addicts in search of a high, seeking out the stimulation of social interactions.

But no matter your natural inclination, you can adapt to the situation. Adaptation is one of the hallmarks of human existence and what has made us so successful at survival. Even if you are born introverted, you can be assertive, gregarious, and sociable when the need arises. Look at introverted politicians such as Hillary Clinton and India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh; they are diplomatic and social when they have to be.

Learn necessary for success Emotional Intelligence skills such as Assertiveness, which will help you find your voice and let others know what you think and feel.  Conversational skills will help you to get people to talk about their favorite subject, themselves. Don’t fear lulls in the conversation, enjoy the quietness that your introverted side requires.

One of the most important Emotional Intelligence skills is Self-Regard, how you feel about yourself. Accept your natural introversion and don’t apologize for it. Celebrate who you are and don’t worry about what others think. Just be the best you that you can be.

Techniques for Finding Peace in Your Life

We live in a busy, noisy world. On a daily basis we are exposed to many sights, sounds, and smells, too. There’re the sounds of cars, planes, TVs, and radios. The LED lights that constantly shine from our computers, TVs, and power strips have been cited as reasons why people can’t get a good night’s sleep (LED lights suppress the brain's night time production of Melatonin which is needed to regulate our biological clocks).

Oftentimes we will initiate the noise of the TV or radio to mask others noises in our environment or the “noises” of our anxious minds, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of an inescapable noisy world.

How do we find peace of mind in this raucous world? How do we shut out the noise so that we can think and hear our own minds?

I began meditating 40 years ago as a teenager back in the 1970s. I learned Transcendental Meditation (TM), made famous to the hippy world by The Beatles. TM involves sitting in a quiet room while mentally repeating a mantra, a meaningless word that helps you stay focused while you clear your mind.

The problem I had with TM is that it requires a quiet place. I would put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my bedroom door, and people would do their best to be quiet and tiptoe around my routine. But invariably there would be some noise that disturbed this quietness.

I have found “mindfulness” to be more effective. Mindfulness, which has its origins in Buddhist meditation, is the act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. With your eyes closed you pay attention to your breathing and the world around you. You are aware of sounds but you do not judge them as “disturbing.”

In mindfulness you are striving to live in the present moment, “the now.” As such, you are not worrying about what might happen in the future. You are not reliving and regretting past mistakes. The only thing that matters is what is happening at that very second in time.

Presumably you are sitting in a safe environment so you have no present worries. Naturally your mind will wander and that’s ok. Gently release your thoughts and bring yourself back to the present moment. Hear what there is to hear, be it cars out on the street, a plane overhead, or the TV in the next room. Do not judge the sound (“It’s so noisy!”), only be aware that it is there.

By not judging we let go of our stress. Instead of seeing the world from our own standards, our own set of rules, we become part of the world. We are like alien observers who simply record what they see and hear before trying to interpret any meaning. We are like a video camera that hears and sees, but does not judge.

When I first started trying to live in the “now,” I would do so for seconds at a time. I would mentally count the seconds until my mind wandered from the present moment into the past or future. Seventeen seconds of mindfulness became my goal.

Now I just do it for however long I can several times throughout the day. Usually I do it with my eyes open, preferring to look at the green lushness of a tree out my window. I am aware of my surroundings, the sights and sounds, but I do not judge what I hear or see.

I still do mantra meditation, although it is more a hybrid of mindfulness and meditation. Instead of doing it for 15 or twenty minutes, I do it for just a few minutes. I often do it while travelling; while in an airport or on a plane—it helps pass the time.

Another way I find peace in my life is by using the “Fire Balls” technique. This technique involves imagining a small ball of fire in the palm of your hand. It is like a little sun in which you are in control of. My fire ball for peace is colored green. While focusing on this green ball of fire, I feel the emotion of peace inside me. I feel the calmness and tranquility.

This technique is based on the Law of Attraction and helps to bring peace into your life. It is an effective technique for whatever feelings you want to attract into your life: Peace, energy, love, happiness, prosperity, etc.

I encourage you to try the above-mentioned techniques of meditation, mindfulness, and “fire balls” to find some quiet peace in your life. The health benefits, both physical and mental, have been scientifically proven. But most of all, you will feel the proof in your own tranquility.